Today’s new moon is asking us to quiet the noise so we can hear our hearts, to dig deep under the layers and into our soul, to break the shackles of our beliefs past and present, to be who we really are. It’s a tall order.
The path to our true self is not an easy one. Letting go of the false often means changing so much as we mostly dwell in our false self. It's an uncomfortable thought, but nonetheless true. And it is no wonder. From the day we are born we are labelled; gender, name, religion, social status, norms… We grow up and still don't make our own choices but are thought to listen to our parents or follow the path they are on. We are taught how to behave and what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. We find partners and adjust to their needs, have children and continue adjusting, fitting in, blending in, following, growing more distant from who we really are.
So, who we are today is a result of so many big and small events in our lives, of all the people who crossed our path, of how we're brought up, what beliefs we inherited from our parents and caretakers as children, of the truths we heard from our teachers and gurus as adults, of the society we live in, of friends we choose, of norms and standards of our daily lives. Most of the time we don't walk the path of our authenticity but rather of our beliefs, fears, desires and traumas buried deep.
All of this can take us so far away from our true self that, in the moments when something inside rebels, when the masks become too heavy of a burden, when our soul starts screaming form the inside, finding the way back seems impossible.
When I think of this I think of people who suffered an amnesia from a trauma and can’t remember anything about who they are. Sometimes I think we’re all walking around like amnesiacs, lost to ourselves, some too lost to notice, some trying to find the way back. And I believe (every time I use this word I smile because I know this is just my belief influenced by all of the above), that all of us who seek know that a way back isn’t easy and we may only come close in this lifetime. But the journey is as important as the destination.
From my own life’s journey, I see how, on this road back to my true self, I found the simplest things bring me closer. For me, a yogi of 20 years, the spiritual path isn’t so much about the practice, isn’t about the asana and discipline I have put into my practice, isn’t about controlling my breath and practicing concentration, isn’t as much about meditation, chanting and the rest of yoga’s wonderful tools. Often times, to be really honest, I feel that some of those tools take me further away rather that bring me closer and are, often times, traps I fall into. But, what I feel does bring me closer to living from my true self is being mindful of everything I do, every word I say, every letter I write, every reaction, every thought. Observing where they come from, from what intention. Why did I just do that, say that, think that, why did it trigger me? Am I honest? Do I walk the talk? Am I aware?
Every little choice we make every moment of every day, we have the opportunity to observe - do our thoughts, actions, feelings, words come from a sacred space of Self or from somewhere else?
If you want to put yourself to a test and see how many of your daily choices are automated, and how many truly aware, spend a day observing everything you think, say and do. What is your first thought when you wake up in the morning, how do you greet your day, what do you use to nourish yourself inside and out and with what intention? How do your choices resonate and effect the world, people around you, the environment?
I have tried this little mindfulness day game many times but never could finish the full day. It’s challenging, it’s hard and humbling, often even disappointing because truth is hard to face. But it is also eye opening. And ones you see with more clarity, you are ones more, faced with a choice – do you keep your eyes open or look away?
According to the astrologists, the stars are here to help us come closer to our essence in the upcoming month. So, let’s use this energy to let go of whatever we are ready to let go so we come closer to our true, free, radiating, loving selves, comfortable with our choices, truthful with our words, creating positive change with our actions.
In nature everything is interconnected and causes an effect, even the the flap of butterfly wings.