Shit happens…

At the beginning of January this year, I drove from Portugal to Croatia so I can leave Seeta the Pooch at my mum's while I'm in Sri Lanka conducting a teacher training. I planned to drive back at the end of March, stop in Tuscany for a few days, or Provence perhaps. Definitely see San Sebastian this time. I have done this, 3000 km long trip four times already, always with someone and always as a fun road-trip adventure, taking our time, visiting different places en-route, so I always looked forward to the trip. But then came coronavirus and changed all my plans for return as well as the world as we know it.

More shit happens…

When I flew back from Sri Lanka to Croatia at the end of February, there were very little cases in Europe and none in Croatia. I had a workshop planned for mid-March and decided to go ahead with it, but soon the pandemic was declared and everything just went downhill from there. I canceled the event, meaning I could drive back sooner, but Italy went into full lockdown and it I needed to figure out if I could drive through. New hotspots started to emerge daily. Spain, France… All the countries I had to pass. More lockdowns. I made another plan, to drive through Austria and Switzerland, but that soon became impossible as well. And while contemplating what to do and where to go (I had plans A, B, and C), early morning on March 22nd Zagreb was hit by an earthquake. The next day they locked us in. I couldn't stay at my apartment (no gas after the earthquake plus I had PTSP from being there during) so plan C failed. I couldn't drive south to my friend's house on the coast so plan B was no longer possible, and I couldn't drive back to PT in that state (we were all in post traumatic stress for weeks), so plan A was out of the question. So after the earthquake I went to my brother's, took time to heal, and get my strength back while slowly sorting things out with my apartment and enjoying the healing family time I am now really grateful I had. 

The journey

Once I felt I was ready to leave, I packed the rest of my stuff in the car together with food, water and coffee I'll need for the trip (I didn't buy anything en route but petrol), a blanket and a pillow to sleep in the car, made Spotify driving playlists (I wouldn't make it without those!), said my goodbyes and started driving on Friday at 11 am. I was nervous a day before, but calm that morning - I have made up my mind and had a good feeling. 

As a resident of Portugal I exited Croatia and entered Slovenia without being asked too many questions. I knew I had to be allowed to drive in transit through all the countries, at least in theory. Roads were empty so it was easier to drive, and I gave myself small goals. First one was to enter Italy which I did without a problem and without anyone checking me. Second was to arrive to France before sunset; partly to cross during the day, partly to avoid driving A10 or Autostrada Fiori with its 100 tunnels, viaducts and constant roadworks at night. I did it a few times and I knew how tiring it can be. Thankfully, I made it to France before sunset.

I was asked for a pass I should have had but didn't. The officers were very sweet and told me how to get it online, helped me fill out the form and wished me a safe journey. It took less than 10 minutes. I drove a bit more and stopped at the service station somewhere around Cannes to rest and maybe get some sleep. But… As a woman travelling alone with a full car and a dog, I felt unsafe. Plus, I was buzzing, I didn't feel tired enough. So I stopped for an hour or so to give Seeta time to rest, checked in with family and friends, read all the beautiful supportive messages (another thing that really helped!) and continued on. I felt fine and, with another shorter stop, made it just passed Montpellier. I stopped at another service station around 4 am and fell asleep without a problem. Tiredness knows no fear I guess.

When I woke up and checked where I was, I realised I was already half way home, in less than 24 hours, which was a great feeling. I was stopped a few more times and warned I can only transit, so no exiting anywhere. But, everyone was really nice and driving Pyrenees region is stunning. Entering Spain was also ok, they had checked all my documents, gave me a paper pass and told me I needed to exit the country today which was the plan, it was 'only' 6 hours to Portuguese border. Roads were empty apart for the trucks and an odd car and scenery beautiful - mountainous Basque followed by flatlands of Castile and León with bright yellow canola fields, greens and some pink trees I haven't seen before. 

When I finally arrived to Portuguese border, I was so tired but so happy. The Portuguese on the border were typically chilled and charming and I was greeted with a smile and a stunning sunset. 3,5 more hours to go, but I was so happy I felt like I can drive for 10. At least for the first hour or so;). 37 hours after I left Zagreb, I was finally in my house.

Some fast facts for those who don’t like to read long posts;)

• If you are a resident or a citizen of any county, you are allowed to drive through IN TRANZIT (meaning, no stopping other than on service stations) and have to be granted entry to your country.

• No one checked me as I entered Italy, you need a transit pass which you can get online in France, in Spain you get an entry paper so they make sure you exit the same day, yet nobody checked it on my exit.

• I drove the quickest route Zagreb - Ljubljana - Verona - Piacenza - Genoa - Nice - Montpellier - Toulouse - San Sebastian - Salamanca - North of Portugal. It’s about 3000 km, 28 hours of just driving time, took me 37 hours all together.

• Only stopped to rest, use the toilet and fill up, had everything else with me (food, water, coffee). Masks are mandatory on all service stations I stopped at.

• Roads are much emptier than usual, but there were still many trucks, especially through Italy.

Mind over matter

Being a Croatian stuck in Croatia with family and friends doesn't sound bad at all. And it wasn't of course, I enjoyed my time with family very much. But, that's not the point. Many people told me to wait it out, why risk it now, wait until at least they open hotels so you can get a good night sleep. But, you are home. Wait until the situation gets better. I know the advice came from a good place, of course.

But, the thing is, in these extraordinary times, with all the uncertainty, we all need to find a sense of stability which temporarily, I did find in Zagreb, but after a while, I needed to feel a sense of normality, and not just a temporary one. Especially in challenging times like these. For me, that was being where I feel at home. Being able to go back to my routine, to writing, creating and teaching. Being where I feel calm, and calm is something we all need right now.

When we feel calm, grounded and safe, we stop focusing our energy on those very important, primary needs, and start sending it elsewhere. I knew that, in order to get my creative juices flowing again, which I cannot work without, I needed to be here. Driving through red zones, sleeping in the car etc. was a small price to pay.

A few weeks back I saw a documentary about this Slovenian guy who swam the Danube River, followed by Amazon and then Yangtze, the longest and most polluted Asian River. He broke 5 world records. If you’re now picturing a young fit guy, as I would, I have to burst your bubble. He’s a 60 something chubby man who drinks a litre of wine every day. Mind over matter. There is really little we can't do if we set our minds to it.

There is an abundant strength in each one of us, we just need to trust ourselves more and quiet the inner critic. As yogis we learn to control the, often fearful, mind. And freedom, the ultimate goal of yoga, lies on the other side of fear.