Adult attachment theory is a tool for a better understanding of ourselves and others. Learning about ourselves and becoming more aware is a crucial first step in understanding how we typically respond to closeness, intimacy, and emotional needs in relationships. It is not a perfect tool, as we are complex beings, but it is a good start when it comes to relationships, both romantic and other. And we know that good, honest relationships are essential for our well-being and happiness. This is the second part of the attachment series. The first, available here, was an intro to this subject. In this post, I will discuss the importance of understanding attachment styles and cover each in detail. In the next, I will focus on the dynamics of different combinations of attachment styles.
While, for many, the holiday season is all about joy and happiness and (re)connecting, it brings anxiety and stress for some. This happens for many reasons, including spending time with friends and family we don't often see eye to eye. A spiritual teacher, Ram Dass, once said, 'If you think you're enlightened, go and spend the week with your family.' Still, the challenges are often opportunities to learn and change. Last year, I wrote about ‘navigating the holiday season using Buddhist principles’. This year, I will focus on a more contemporary type of wisdom offered by Social Psychology and the theory of perspective-taking.
Trauma seems to be a buzzword in yoga and wellness circles lately, with various modalities, from movement and breathwork to chanting and various ceremonies, advertised as trauma healing. However, can trauma be something we can move, breathe, sing or dance out? Of course, it is not that simple. When it comes to something as complex as trauma, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. While a particular asana, breathing pattern, or any other practice or technique might be healing for one person, it can be triggering for another.
Emotional regulation is an important skill for our overall mental health and the health of our relationships. This is why I included emotional regulation tools in Spanda Institute's 300-hour Yoga Therapy training; understanding emotions and tools for emotional regulation is essential for teachers and therapists (and humans in general). In this blog, I want to shed some light on what emotional regulation is and what it isn't and share some tools and strategies you can use.
Adult attachment theory is a tool for a better understanding of ourselves and others. Learning about ourselves and becoming more aware is a crucial first step in understanding how we typically respond to closeness, intimacy, and emotional needs in relationships. It is not a perfect tool, as we are complex beings, but it is a good start when it comes to relationships, both romantic and other. And we know that good, honest relationships are essential for our well-being and happiness. This is the second part of the attachment series. The first, available here, was an intro to this subject. In this post, I will discuss the importance of understanding attachment styles and cover each in detail. In the next, I will focus on the dynamics of different combinations of attachment styles.
While, for many, the holiday season is all about joy and happiness and (re)connecting, it brings anxiety and stress for some. This happens for many reasons, including spending time with friends and family we don't often see eye to eye. A spiritual teacher, Ram Dass, once said, 'If you think you're enlightened, go and spend the week with your family.' Still, the challenges are often opportunities to learn and change. Last year, I wrote about ‘navigating the holiday season using Buddhist principles’. This year, I will focus on a more contemporary type of wisdom offered by Social Psychology and the theory of perspective-taking.
Trauma seems to be a buzzword in yoga and wellness circles lately, with various modalities, from movement and breathwork to chanting and various ceremonies, advertised as trauma healing. However, can trauma be something we can move, breathe, sing or dance out? Of course, it is not that simple. When it comes to something as complex as trauma, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. While a particular asana, breathing pattern, or any other practice or technique might be healing for one person, it can be triggering for another.
We can all agree that breathing is essential and one of the most important life-sustaining functions, if not the most important. We can go without eating, drinking and sleeping for days and only minutes without breathing. Besides the apparent gas exchange function, breathing also regulates our pH and can quickly influence our autonomic nervous system. Thus, knowing how to breathe well can positively affect our health and well-being, decrease stress and increase our mental and physical performance. When done well, altering our natural breathing pattern, which is what we do when practising pranayama or other breathwork techniques, can be very beneficial. However, altering our breathing patterns can be detrimental if the technique is not for us, is too advanced, or is based on misconceptions and pseudoscience.
We have been warned about the effects of global warming for a few decades now. Still, nothing much changed, and we continued to live and consume as before. There is a glimpse of positive changes, but not close to what we need to change things around. The events we are witnessing around the globe have a clear message – we must wake up from this ‘business as usual’ dream. It is very evident now that our unsustainable lives impact the planet and our future.
While working in a Child Guidance Clinic in London, a British psychologist, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst John Bowlby had the opportunity to observe the behavior of babies and children separated from their caretaker, or what he called attachment figure. Based on his research and findings, in 1958, he proposed the theory of Attachment.
In the past month, I had one-on-one consultation sessions with my 300-hour YTTC graduates. Instead of having a long lecture about where to go from here for everyone, the idea was to discuss each unique situation. I believe it was helpful for them, but it also made me realise that most of us (yes, I include myself as this was me before) are reluctant to promote ourselves.
Trust is the most important element of any relationship; romantic, family, friendships, business partnerships and interactions with strangers, as well as our relationship with institutions and governments. Trust is also a foundation of cooperation in any mentioned relationship and this is the key. No trust = no cooperation.
This is the 2nd part of the Anxiety free post in which I will be focusing on prevention or things you can do to have more calm and less anxiety in your life. But first, a bit of science that forms the base of the prevention tips below. One thing all anxiety disorders have in common is our body’s reaction to them, or rather the stress response they trigger so I will touch upon that very briefly (and much more in detail in one of the video lectures coming up soon!).
Mental health has never been so fragile for so many as it is today, yet perhaps never as important for our survival. This statement may sound dramatic, but to heal everything that’s wrong with this world we have created, starting with the global warming crisis we’re facing, we need to heal the individual first. Division, anger and fear (often wearing many discuses) we see so much evidence of, comes from pain, or rather protection patterns and unresolved trauma.
The first step towards overcoming bias is the hardest - recognising them. But, how do you become aware of something unconscious? It’s not easy, but not all is lost. It begins with a decision to see our thoughts, words and actions from a different perspective and asking oneself - What if the opposite is true?
If you read the news you know that after the lockdowns this time last year have triggered the largest annual drop in global energy-related carbon dioxide emissions since the Second World War, showing us what is environmentally possible when we stop with our ‘normal’ lifestyles, which are a far cry from anything normal, we are back doing to the same thing and expecting different results, what Einstein called a definition of insanity.
As it turns out, Nietzsche’s famous quote That which does not kill us makes us stronger” is not only a philosophical discourse but a theory backed by constantly emerging scientific evidence. Challenge and adversity can build resilience, and it seems that the opposite effect is often true when it comes to our life of convenience and comfort. And this goes for psychological as well as physical resilience.
In just over two decades, since I have been witnessing the unfolding of Yoga in the West, the perception of Yoga and it’s practices have been changing and transforming quite fast. I say perception, because it is not up to us to decide what something which has been defined thousand of years ago is, but rather to see how it can expand, grow and evolve, taking into the account the age we live in and everything available to us today like science and information.
At the beginning of January this year, I drove from Portugal to Croatia so I can leave Seeta the Pooch at my mum's while I'm in Sri Lanka conducting a teacher training. I planned to drive back at the end of March, stop in Tuscany for a few days, or Provence perhaps. Definitely see San Sebastian this time. I have done this, 3000 km long trip four times already, always with someone and always as a fun road-trip adventure, taking our time, visiting different places en-route, so I always looked forward to the trip. But then came coronavirus and changed all my plans for return as well as the world as we know it.
Today's Earth Day falls on a New Moon day, and new moons symbolise a chance for a new beginning, a fresh new start, a much-needed change. It’s almost as if the Universe is telling us it’s never too late or too early to change our ways and start anew. Just as Mama Nature does. Everything in Nature is cyclic; a constant rhythm of death and rebirth, a constant pattern of change.
When something shocking and traumatic happens, like an earthquake, or the global pandemic, our body/mind reacts with traumatic stress, which is normal. But, in order for us not to remain in the stressful state and develop chronic (traumatic) stress there are things we can observe and steps we can take in order to move through the crisis with mindfulness and awareness.
photography: Sanjin Kastelan / web design; Nina Vukas
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