Rude awakening
These past few weeks feel like a badly written script for a film I would probably never watch as I don't like unrealistic storylines. Amid the Coronavirus pandemic, and everything that comes with it, a strong earthquake shook Zagreb. It happened at 6:30 am on a Sunday, so most of us were sleeping and I can't tell if I was woken up by the sound, or the shaking. I do remember the fear and disbelief. I remember letting out a scream as the closet fell on my bed (thankfully not hurting me). Still sleepy and in shock, I went to the living room to check on Seeta, looked out the window, and saw people running from the buildings to the park across. I had no idea what to do, so I did what everyone else did; I put on my shoes and coat, grabbed my phone, house keys, and Seeta and ran down the stairs in my pyjama. After a few weeks of spring-like weather and a very mild winter, there was a sudden drop of temperature that night/morning and, as a cherry on the top, it started snowing.
Phone calls from family and friends started coming in, and someone told me they have heard one of the Cathedral towers broke off and fell. I looked up (the park across my apartment overlooks Zagreb Cathedral) and saw it was true. I think the reality of it all only hit me then. Another stronger quake happened while we were in the park, Seeta started shaking, my neighbours all stared at each other in disbelief. Kids were crying, dogs running away frightened. The weirdest part was - we had to stay away from each other due to Coronavirus and social distancing and communicate with a two-meter distance.
I was shaking. From the shock as well as the cold. I wished I took my wooly hat and put on socks. I wish I took my car keys so I could at least go sit in the car. The thought of going back to my 4th-floor apartment for any of those was so scary, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. My brother told me to come to their place, so I walked over to the taxi stand while witnessing all the damage around my home town. It was surreal, scary and sad. Of course, there were no taxis but after an hour or so, I managed to get an Uber and go to my brother's. They live in a newer house and away from the epicentre.
The aftermath
I'm still at my brother's with my belongings packed up in the car. My drive back to Portugal has been postponed yet again, until I sort out everything I need to sort out with my apartment before I leave. Thankfully, my building has suffered only small cracks here and there, but other problems and costs came up. After the earth stopped shaking, many, myself included, had to face a different kind of aftermath.
My apartment was always something I can count on financially, but with rents as well as the property value going down in seconds, this isn’t the case any more. In different times (without pandemic) this would be challenging. But, with Coronavirus still raging on, being in one of the most affected businesses, and not being able to tell when I'll be able to organise my next event and make a living, it makes everything much more difficult and very much uncertain. The life as I knew it only a few months ago, has now been drastically changed. The aftermath of the Corona crisis will be significant for most of us.
All of the above shakes the earth under one's feet, this time metaphorically. It causes uncertainty and creates a fertile ground for fear. On a subtle level, these are all first chakra issues which have to do with survival, safety, stability, home, family, prosperity, and trust. So, what should we do when most of our fundamental needs are challenged?
Staying grounded in turbulent times
When something shocking and traumatic happens, like an earthquake, or the global pandemic, our body/mind reacts with traumatic stress, which is normal. But, in order for us not to remain in the stressful state and develop chronic (traumatic) stress there are things we can observe and steps we can take in order to move through the crisis with mindfulness and awareness.
Find safer ground
The first, and I believe the most important step, is to establish a sense of safety. Staying in my apartment where I experienced a traumatic event, wasn't going to make me feel safe, so I went to my brother's where I felt safer and less alone. When it comes to the virus situation, creating a safe environment is important (stay home, keep the distance, wear a protective mask and gloves if you need to go out etc.).
Stay informed
Right information gives us a sense of control and safety, and rightfully so. Days after the earthquake, my body/mind would react to every car passing by or similar sound thinking it was another one. But, most of the time it wasn’t. Knowing that for sure (checking the website and an app for example) would calm me down. It’s the same with the pandemic situation. Staying informed, but through valid sources, gives us a sense of understanding of what is going on. Denial is never good, even though for some is just a way of dealing with fear and it cannot be switched off so easily, so if you have someone around you who acts as though there is nothing going on (detaching) know it’s not easy for them to switch off their defence. Reading the news all the time is another extreme (one I tend to fall into). Now I try to be informed and read the latest twice a day, not more than that.
Take time to process
Once I felt safer my body/mind was able to come out of the state of shock and start processing it all. So I talked about what happened and what I felt to my family and friends, I listened to their stories, I cried, I laughed, I allowed the sadness, anger, and fear to come out freely so they can be acknowledged, accepted and processed. When we ignore emotions and bottle it all up, they come back with a vengeance. What you resist persists. We all have different feelings concerning the pandemic, and it is good to acknowledge them and talk about them. Again, in moderation. If you tend to only talk about that and find it hard to switch off, instead of processing and releasing, you may be stressing out your system.
Do what calms and relaxes you
We can't ignore what happened to us, but it's not healthy to dwell in it either, so we need to find small things that bring us a sense of calm. I cook every day which gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, I play with my niece when she's around, I connect to friends and family every day. I meditate, breathe, do yoga. It is scientifically proven that meditation calms our nervous system. Try not to make your ‘to do lists’ too long. I give myself small daily tasks and try not to fall into the trap of making big plans and creating agendas which could potentially stress out my system. I feel I am much less focused due to everything and this is normal. For example, I would usually write a blog in a few hours and take an hour to edit it. This one took me a few days.
Practice acceptance and be present
I try to accept this change and each, almost daily challenge, thrown at me (and there have been plenty in the past few weeks), try to adapt to what is, and if there is nothing I can do about it - practice the art of acceptance. So many things I have planned for in the past month or so have changed, so I don't plan too far ahead. I try to be here and now, and take each day as it comes. In these extraordinary times, that is all we can do.
Look for silver linings
It's important to try and see the glass half full and be grateful for the silver linings these trying times have brought. For me, it's this precious family time I would otherwise never have. The now even stronger connections with people in my life. Slowing down and more time to just be. I am grateful for this shift of priorities and big little things like connections and love I am surrounded with. Everything else will be rebuild. Hopefully, on a stronger foundation.
Stay safe & sound.
Much love,
Nina
