Adult attachment theory is a tool for a better understanding of ourselves and others. Learning about ourselves and becoming more aware is a crucial first step in understanding how we typically respond to closeness, intimacy, and emotional needs in relationships. It is not a perfect tool, as we are complex beings, but it is a good start when it comes to relationships, both romantic and other. And we know that good, honest relationships are essential for our well-being and happiness. This is the second part of the attachment series. The first, available here, was an intro to this subject. In this post, I will discuss the importance of understanding attachment styles and cover each in detail. In the next, I will focus on the dynamics of different combinations of attachment styles.
While, for many, the holiday season is all about joy and happiness and (re)connecting, it brings anxiety and stress for some. This happens for many reasons, including spending time with friends and family we don't often see eye to eye. A spiritual teacher, Ram Dass, once said, 'If you think you're enlightened, go and spend the week with your family.' Still, the challenges are often opportunities to learn and change. Last year, I wrote about ‘navigating the holiday season using Buddhist principles’. This year, I will focus on a more contemporary type of wisdom offered by Social Psychology and the theory of perspective-taking.
Trauma seems to be a buzzword in yoga and wellness circles lately, with various modalities, from movement and breathwork to chanting and various ceremonies, advertised as trauma healing. However, can trauma be something we can move, breathe, sing or dance out? Of course, it is not that simple. When it comes to something as complex as trauma, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. While a particular asana, breathing pattern, or any other practice or technique might be healing for one person, it can be triggering for another.
When something shocking and traumatic happens, like an earthquake, or the global pandemic, our body/mind reacts with traumatic stress, which is normal. But, in order for us not to remain in the stressful state and develop chronic (traumatic) stress there are things we can observe and steps we can take in order to move through the crisis with mindfulness and awareness.
Nobody on this planet is always happy and in a good mood. We are all human beings with a rather large span of emotions. We can be happy, sad, angry, joyful, optimistic, pessimistic, jealous, positive, negative… This is what makes us human. Also, it is those 'bad' emotions; feeling of discomfort, anger, sadness, anxiety etc. which are trying to tell us something, and if we tune in, see and listen instead of ignore or fix, we might be one step closer to healing and integration.
photography: Sanjin Kastelan / web design; Nina Vukas
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