Adult attachment theory is a tool for a better understanding of ourselves and others. Learning about ourselves and becoming more aware is a crucial first step in understanding how we typically respond to closeness, intimacy, and emotional needs in relationships. It is not a perfect tool, as we are complex beings, but it is a good start when it comes to relationships, both romantic and other. And we know that good, honest relationships are essential for our well-being and happiness. This is the second part of the attachment series. The first, available here, was an intro to this subject. In this post, I will discuss the importance of understanding attachment styles and cover each in detail. In the next, I will focus on the dynamics of different combinations of attachment styles.
While, for many, the holiday season is all about joy and happiness and (re)connecting, it brings anxiety and stress for some. This happens for many reasons, including spending time with friends and family we don't often see eye to eye. A spiritual teacher, Ram Dass, once said, 'If you think you're enlightened, go and spend the week with your family.' Still, the challenges are often opportunities to learn and change. Last year, I wrote about ‘navigating the holiday season using Buddhist principles’. This year, I will focus on a more contemporary type of wisdom offered by Social Psychology and the theory of perspective-taking.
Trauma seems to be a buzzword in yoga and wellness circles lately, with various modalities, from movement and breathwork to chanting and various ceremonies, advertised as trauma healing. However, can trauma be something we can move, breathe, sing or dance out? Of course, it is not that simple. When it comes to something as complex as trauma, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. While a particular asana, breathing pattern, or any other practice or technique might be healing for one person, it can be triggering for another.
Trust is the most important element of any relationship; romantic, family, friendships, business partnerships and interactions with strangers, as well as our relationship with institutions and governments. Trust is also a foundation of cooperation in any mentioned relationship and this is the key. No trust = no cooperation.
The first step towards overcoming bias is the hardest - recognising them. But, how do you become aware of something unconscious? It’s not easy, but not all is lost. It begins with a decision to see our thoughts, words and actions from a different perspective and asking oneself - What if the opposite is true?
As it turns out, Nietzsche’s famous quote That which does not kill us makes us stronger” is not only a philosophical discourse but a theory backed by constantly emerging scientific evidence. Challenge and adversity can build resilience, and it seems that the opposite effect is often true when it comes to our life of convenience and comfort. And this goes for psychological as well as physical resilience.
In ancient times people learned by experiencing and doing; much of the knowledge came from observing self and nature, allowing to be guided by intuition and faith, and often simply trying things out, embracing what works, and discarding what doesn't. Today, we have science proving what those luminaries knew all along - meditation is a gateway to peace and higher states of consciousness.
photography: Sanjin Kastelan / web design; Nina Vukas
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